One hour later ------ Wow. I actually feel better now. Feel free to skip to the last paragraph. The rest is pointless.... lol
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This without a doubt, has been one of the roughest weeks this year. Two very big fights with Pseudo over stupid stuff. Realizing my true value at work, the lack of acknowledgement of my efforts, and what would happen to my team if I were to just up and leave the company. Financial troubles coming to a head, leaving me with pennies to last me a few days.
This whole month has been a challenge on me emotionally and physically.
The fights were stupid. After months of not getting any time together, things are just awkward between us, now that we are actively trying to spend time together. After spending so long building on this "relationship", for things to become awkward was so unexpected. He was so apologetic, and I didn't even know how to respond. Just as soon as we think that's resolved, another issue out of the blue. Sorta.... Rumors are stupid. They can damage lives, friendships, relationships, and careers. I caught wind of a big one a few weeks ago, involving Pseudo and one of his agents. I am not one to spread rumors. I have always preferred speaking with the individuals involved. Not only to determine if they are true, but to alert them, that this is out there. Pseudo has been the center of many rumors over the last few months, and some of them have been VERY damaging. One even involved me, which we had to quickly squash, as neither of us wants to put our careers in jeopardy. This recent one, has led him to believe that his only course of action to alleviate all these rumors is to leave the company, and go elsewhere. I don't know what I think about that..... I am really starting to hate text messaging, as this little tiff occurred through it. After him snapping at me several times, more venting than anything, I got frustrated and snapped back. While the conversation ended shortly thereafter, it didn't end well. Again, he apologized several times, as did I, but things are just weird. We are supposed to go watch football with friends again tomorrow, and I am still uncertain if I want to put myself in another awkward position. We have talked several times since these little altercations, and we are both just broken. Neither knows what to say or do. I realize a little time will allow this to pass, but that doesn't keep things from being uncomfortable for a bit. All this stress, has left me with little sleep, and he ended up getting sick. While I understand he doesn't feel well, last night he snapped at me, not to play, tease, or joke with him. It was so unexpected, I didn't know what to say. So we sat in silence for 20 minutes, before I just said my goodbye, and went back to work. Again, he's back to apologizing. He felt so bad, he wouldn't let me leave last night without a hug, and a confirmation that I was going to be at football on Sunday. We're just so stressed, right now I am looking forward to my trip to CO, so things can calm down for a bit, and I can relax with my family for a week. I am so excited to go home.
So on to work.... On Wednesday, my co-manager received a package from our client, thanking him for all his efforts, and all that he does. Let me outline what he does each day.
- Makes a pretty picture for an educational e-mail to the team - 2 hours.
- Reviews and delivers Quality provided by the client - 4 hours.
- Plays the games we support - 2 hours.
- Visits with the team - 1 hour.
I'm going to outline what I do each day.... It'll make me feel more justified in my frustration....
- Get hammered the second I walk in the door, by half the team with the random issues that have come up over the course of the morning, that my co-manager didn't deal with. - 1 hour
- Update all of the reporting(it's all manual, no automated....) - 2+ hours
- Meetings, my co-manager doesn't attend - 3 hours
- Attendance and scheduling issues/concerns - 1 hour
- Team organization and assignments, that weren't done at 6am when my co-manager arrived - 30 minutes
- Deliver quality provided by the client - 45 minutes
- Visit with the team - 30 minutes
- Deal with walk-ups, random fires, and outages throughout the day - 2-3 hours
- Interviews for other contracts - 1 or more per day (minimum 45 minutes)
I think I'm going to stop there. And people wonder why I work 7 days a week...... If I didn't, I'd work 20 hour days.... He has NEVER touched any of the reporting, doesn't even know where to start with it. I had to make help documents for him while I'm on vacation. He will probably take them and dump it on someone else. No worries though, I have already talked to Pseudo, who will pick it up, if my co-manager falls down on the job.... Why do people appreciate that man???
The client ignores my e-mails now, because my co-manager has taken it upon himself to be the one to respond to EVERYTHING they send. I love my boss, but she rarely notices what I do, unless I throw it at her. But if I were to up and bail out on this mess, the team would literally fall apart. Who would do the scheduling? Payroll? Reporting? The weekly presentations? Daily assignments that the client wants reported to them every morning? *sigh* Again, looking forward to my vacation, because this stuff with all become very apparent when I'm gone. Pointing it out doesn't seem to work. Let the ass fall on his face.
Ah money..... Whether you have it or not, it's never enough. With the messes with Pseudo from the weekend, and the crap at work, I completely spaced dropping off my check for rent. Priorities Jess! The check I wrote on the 31st..... *grumble* So I had to pull a $50 late fee outta..... we'll say my shoe. Lucky me, I still had $40 left from the money Bill gave me, and found $14 at the bottom of my purse. *sigh* NEVER again!
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So that was my week! Pseudo did say some really nice things to me this week, when attempting to dig himself out of the holes he'd tripped into. And he did give me more hugs this week than I think I've gotten in the last month. Plus, we all are apparently really excited about football tomorrow. My hesitation turned into a confirmation while I was typing this novel out. Eh, it'll be fun, and I am semi-looking forward to it. So there's always a bright side.
So now I get to finish watching the Duck game, then get my lazy rear to work.... YAY!
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