Going through some challenges right now, that have made it very difficult to keep up with the blog. The economy out here is awful, and yet again I am at risk of losing my job. We were just informed this morning, that we are losing two more contracts. Including the one I've spent the majority of my career on. Now, keep in mind, I saw this one coming. The second contract has been at our site for near a decade, and is a SHOCK!
This will leave 10 managers, and 1 Service Delivery Manager with questionable futures. I know the ranking is coming...... And I finally found out exactly where I stood in the last one. After my Site Director tried to make light of it and state there was nothing to worry about, I clarified exactly what he'd just told me, and I saw a look of concern I had never seen on his face before. It was obvious the light-bulbs had just lit up, and he suddenly understood I was right.
SOOOOOOO, I am frantically looking for a new job. I am working 80+ hour weeks, which while is not unusual for me, is not normally as frequent as it has been. I am not sleeping as much as I should be, because of work, and god forbid I get a decent meal at least one day a week. So there is very little time to job hunt, and I know the ax is most likely only about 6 weeks away.
Niceguy is still nice. Pseudo is still driving me insane. Pseudo is making efforts, and I am unsure of what to think.... We shall see.... The fact that I saw relief in his face when I mentioned to him that he out-ranked me, actually made me so angry at the thought that I was even considering leaving before standing my ground and tossing him under the bus. Why would I ever sacrifice myself for anyone that didn't give a crap about what happened to me?! I'm tired and cranky.... He HAS shown his concern, and his attempts to comfort me have been well-accepted. I'm still cranky though.
Midas is an absolute sweetheart and pampers me any chance he gets. He knows where I stand, and hasn't been pushy lately. We've been hanging out a little too much, just after work, but I need a break from life for a little while.
He did write this for me though. I'm still not sure if he snatched it from somewhere, but it's beautiful just the same.
Beautiful Angel
Some years have past since I first cast, my eyes upon you.
The dye was set the day we met, chance of a mere glance from you.
Many seasons have come and are spent, and troubled waters crested.
Heaven from which you were sent, has at last in my heart rested.
I feel your tender skin in my sleep, your soft touch in the night.
Though I'm asleep it awakes me, my angel fresh from flight.
Anyway, I need to get back to work, so I can get some sleep at some point tonight. Need to be up in 8 hours to get back to work.
I wanted to give everyone a little update. Hoping to have some time on Sunday to write something that explains in more detail.
Love to all!
Jess
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